Wow, things are sure going crazy here and the stress of everything we have coming up is starting to get to me. I wish that I was more organized and I feel like if I were I am sure I would be a better wife and mom. So in my anal-ness (not sure that's really a word) I had some free time yesterday afternoon after a meeting before my graduate class began and worked through a google calendar for our family. I put everything I had written in my antiquated paper and pencil planner which I love because I can hold onto and really feel it. I do however, never seem to have it with me when I need it, nor do I remember to write things down later. So with the google calendar I have set it up where anytime Travis or I add something to the calendars on our phones or to the calendar online they will sync with one another. This was a great idea in theory however, as I started actually building the calendar, rather than alleviating my concerns and helping me feel more organized, I honestly just felt more overwhelmed with all the things we have going on before the end of the year.
That's not even the half of it however, because after seeing all these cute things on Pinterest and other blogs that people are doing with their children, I am pinning or saving them, etc. and feeling overwhelmed about all the memories that my children are missing out on because I am not making time to do all these activities and then there's my five year old who will be in Kindergarten next year and I didn't put him in preschool this first semester though he's enrolled at The Crossing in Quincy after we move there. Is he behind? Why am I not spending time developing his skills homeschooling him per say in the evenings...because I'm at ballgames three or four nights a week, but that shouldn't make a difference my children should take precedence.
I keep seeing all these great things people have going on, how organized they seem to be and how much of a slacker I am, and let me just tell you it's really doing wonders for my self-confidence. All that to say, I have decided that though there are fantastic opportunities for memories to be made with my children, we won't be able to do them all, maybe next year right...I am just going to focus on each day, one at a time and trying to make a memory with them both, one day at a time. At the end of everyday, if when I lay down with my boys, we can giggle and cuddle and love each other, I guess we had a pretty good day, we are still a family, we still love each other and though we may have missed a chance to do something really creative, we made memories of our own.
Lord, today I turn over my need to be the "perfect" mom and wife. I ask Lord that more than finding perfection in my parenting and my marriage, I find more of you. Lord help our eyes to be fixed upon you in all things, our hearts to be overflowing with your love, and the words of our mouths to overflow with the abundance of your grace for one another.
Leaning on the Everlasting Arms,