Exhaustion

You know it's coming...those moments when Satan creeps in and takes the joy out of the ordinary, the moments you find that you're just watching your life happen. I have been feeling that way lately. Titus has been tested and there was an exhausting day of holding him down while he cried uncontrollably for forty-five minutes for a heart echo, to find out everything was normal which was the prayer we had been praying since we found out he was going to have to have an echo. Then there was the detail that he tested positive for RSV so we've been doing antibiotics (did I mention the double ear infection), and breathing treatments regularly and now if only he'd sleep through the night. Tennyson, the strong willed one, who has determined to be defiant so we have started losing our big boy privileges on a daily basis, which has led to temper tantrum throwing....

I could go on and on and in my mind lately I have been, only to be reminded, actually hit last night at the MUMs group (Moms Uplifting Moms) like a mac truck that as moms and wives we many times determine the pace of our household. Sure we have a lot of responsibilities, sure we have a lot on our shoulders, but if we don't have the mindset of "whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men (Col. 3:23)," I know I personally would never survive. Andrea Eckhardt reminded me last night that there is some truth to the old adage, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy," and Satan can only steal from me what I allow him to, so today and each day from here on out, I plan to wake (even when I spent more hours rocking my baby than sleeping) with a smile, with joy because I have children to rock, I have food to put on the table hence the dishes, there will always be a pile of laundry because I have clothing to put on their backs, there will be a fight stepping out into the cold but there's a warm car to head to, and there is enough left in the bank account to put gas in the car to get us from point a to point B.

I don't know why in my little mind I think I should be entitled to whatever I want, I don't know where this adage became a part of our society, but I know that Christ told us there would be suffering. We would endure things on this earth that we don't want, we won't have every luxury and we weren't meant to. We are here to love one another, serve the widows and orphans and become nothing for His names sake. I pray that as I work to have joy and be positive, I am instilling in my children the fact that joy is a choice you make everyday, it's saying "yes" to Jesus each moment of each day.

End of rant,

Lindsay